Truths Hurt

 “And we’ll definitely have a lot of breadsticks too.” 

“Alright sounds good. I’ll go get that ready for you guys”  

“Thank you.”  We all say in unison.  

Across from me in the booth, Drea takes a sip from her raspberry lemonade. Her face lighting up in pure pleasure with a slight pucker to close it out.  

“Oh my god, have you tried this yet? It’s amazing.” 

Instinctively I reach for my glass and my face lights up as I taste the sweet and sour pink liquid. Then too my face puckers.  

“Damn,” I reply. “That’s kinda sour.” 

“Wait,” Erica says next to me. “So, Dante dumped you again?” 

“No, we’re on a break,” I reply. “He’s got some real shit he needs to figure out and he says he needs to be alone for a bit.” 

“Girl, he totally just wants to fuck someone else.”  

“Drea!”  

“It’s true. He’s been using you for so long. I don’t know why you can’t see that,” she continued. 

“Guys he’s not,” I reply. 

“Kelsie, you don’t need to be defensive,” Erica tells me. “We can see he’s not treating you well.” 

“Guys you really don’t know what you're talking about. He’s actually really sweet to me.” 

“Who are you trying to convince here?” Drea demands. “Do you not remember all the times you came to work crying because he’s done something insensitive just because he’s not actually ever thinking about you?” 

I look around the restaurant for a bit. I swear Olive Garden is not how I remember it. It used to be so fancy. I remember coming here with my dad when I was younger. The smell of breadsticks and pasta with the peaceful Italian ambience.  

“Kelsie,” Erica pleads to me, “he keeps doing this. What is this the fourth time you’ve broken up?” 

“We’ve never broken up.” 

“Fine went on a break. I can’t believe you're sticking by someone who just keeps you at arm's length.” 

“Kelsie he’s not even hot,” Drea adds.  

“You don’t understand. I see how much he’s changed for me and how much he tries with me. But it’s also like, I don’t know. Like I bring out the worst in him sometimes.” 

“Girl what the fuck. Drea, it’s like talking to a wall I swear.” 

“Kelsie,” Drea pleads, “You’re blaming yourself for his shit and I'm sorry but that's fucked up.” 

“Guys I know I know, my self worth and all that.” 

“Do you?” Drea replies. “Because I don’t really think you do.” 

“Can we just talk about something else please?” 

I can feel tears welling in my eyes and I actively fight them down. I take another look around the room. It’s almost empty tonight. Like Drea and Erica rented out the whole room just to talk to me about Dante.  

“Kelsie, I feel like a broken record saying this, but you need to leave him. Trust me. You’ll stop watching your phone all the time waiting for him to text back. I know.” 

“You don’t know shit Erica! What do you know? That you got cheated on in middle school? That’s not even a real relationship at that point.” 

“Fine we’ll drop the subject,” Drea says. “You know how we feel.” 

We sit there for a few moments in silence. My chest is so tight I feel like I’m going to burst.  

“I’m sorry I said that Erica, I didn’t mean it,” 

I can see the hurt in her eyes even as she accepts my apology. After a few more seconds of silence, I can see our waiter coming over with our salads. I’m pretty sure he can feel the tension in the air.  

“Alright ladies here’s the salad and breadsticks for ya. Anything else I can get you?” 

“We’re good,” I reply rather flatly. “Thank you,” I add, a bit warmer. 

After he walks away, Drea starts to pull us all out of the mood we’ve just gotten ourselves into as she tosses the salad.  

“What is this, a pepper?” she asks. “You should try it,” she says pointedly at me. “See if it’s hot.” 

“They’re not going to give out hot peppers to unsuspecting customers,” I reply 

“How do you know?” Erica asks.  

And just like that our easy rapport is back to normal, and the restaurant somehow feels fuller than it had. I can’t help but feel hurt at what they’re saying though. They really have no idea how he treats me. We’re not perfect but he loves me. At least...I love him.