Wesley & Simon

“Hey Wes, Wes wake up.”

“Let me sleep,” I groan, rolling over and shoving my face in my pillow.

“Wes come on,” Simon begs, shaking me gently. “I got you coffee.”

I don’t want coffee, I want sleep. 

“Mhmm,” I groan back at him. 

“Wes,” Simon scolds, still shaking me. “Come on we said we’d go out today.” 

Did we? That doesn’t sound like me, its way too early for that. I realize that he’s never going to let me succumb to sleep again and roll over, rubbing my eyes and proceeding to glare at Simon. His messy sandy hair looking like he just got out of bed, even though clearly he’s already been out. 

“Ah sleeping beauty lives,” he laughs. 

“Where’s my coffee?” I groan at him. He looks toward the bedside table and I follow suit, then look back at him expecting him to grab it for me. 

“You’re funny,” he says. “Gotta at least grab it yourself cranky.”

I roll my eyes and reach my hands out in front of me. “Help?” I plead. Now Simon rolls his eyes, the steel blue spheres almost disappearing before locking back on me. Finally he grabs my hands and easily yanks me upward making me release a “Humph!”

“Come on!” He says excitedly, jumping up and making his way to the closet. “I’ve got plans!” 

I lean over and grab the brown coffee cup, realizing for the first time that he actually went out and got it specially for me. 

“I had them put an extra shot in it!” Simon calls from across the room, seeing me taking my first sip. “I knew you’d be tired.”

This guy, I chuckle to myself, the coffee already doing its job and making me a little less cranky. 

  I sit there a moment, sipping my coffee and watching as Simon looks through the closet. 

“What are you wearing?” He calls to me. He must really be exited, he never picks out my clothes. 

I sigh and throw off the blankets before making my way over to him. I point to a pair of pants and a shirt and Simon tosses me a pair of fresh underwear. “Hurry up and take your shower,” He commands. “I wanna get going.”

“Fine,” I sigh, and head off to the bathroom. 

After my shower and feeling much more clear headed, I head to the kitchen. Simon made scrambled eggs which we both eat quickly since he’s so eager to leave.

“I wanna have as much time today as possible,” He tells me. 

It makes sense, he’s usually so busy we can’t spend much time together. I think this is the first time in weeks our schedules have been clear on the same day. 

After we eat, Simon grabs his backpack and we head to the bus stop at the end of our block. He told me we’re going to the park but wouldn’t tell me anything else, saying he wanted it to be a surprise. I’m actually really flattered he thought of doing something nice, even though going out makes me anxious. I am glad I get to go out with him at least. 

“The bus ride should only be a few minutes,” he tells me as we wait by the sign. “I think it’s the second stop, then we have about a ten minute walk to the park.”

“Doesn’t the bus go straight to the park?” I ask. 

“Well yea, but we’d have to go all the way around, I think this is faster,” He assures me. “Plus it’s more interesting” he adds with a smirk.

Finally the bus arrives at the stop and Simon takes my hand, leading me to a pair of open seats near the back. He lets have the window seat even though I end up leaning against his larger frame and closing my eyes, still tired from waking up earlier than I like. Nine is way too early. 

We ride in silence for a few minutes until the next stop, me leaned up against him, our hands intertwined. As the bus comes to a stop, I look up at Simon who seems to have also had his eyes closed. He looks down at me and as I move, questioning whether this is when we get off.

“Next one.” He assures me, and I rest my head back against his solid frame. Another few seconds and the bus lurches forward again. I’m starting to doze off when I hear someone behind me scoff. 

“Fucking fags.”

Instantly I jolt up and whirl my head, trying to find whoever said it. When I can’t  I look back at Simon, tears already forming in my eyes. “Did you?”

“Yea I heard it,” he says. “So what?” 

“What?” I gasp, staring up at him. 

“What?”

“What do you mean ‘what’ doesn’t it matter to you?” I beg. 

“No, just some asshole.” 

“Of course it matters! How can you say that?”

“It doesn’t matter.” He tells me, as plainly as if we were talking about the weather. “People are always going to be ignorant assholes.” 

“But how does that not hurt you?” I beg, shocked at how nonchalant he’s being. Simon shrugs and pulls me back into him like we were before. 

“Just forget about it,” He tells me. “It’s just someone stupid, don’t let them ruin our day.”

I lean into him again but I’m much more stiff than before. Of course it matters, how can he say it doesn’t? And for him to tell me to brush it off? I don’t get how that doesn’t hurt him. 

I don’t really relax the rest of the bus ride. Remaining pretty stiff against Simon. Although his steady heartbeat does help to a certain degree. I try to focus on him instead of that asshole but I can’t when I know I’m being judged so harshly. 

Finally the bus stops again and Simon and I stand to leave. Simon lets me go ahead of him and as we make our way to the front I imagine that guy staring daggers into the back of my head. I actually stop and shiver at the thought and Simon rests his hand on my shoulder, coaxing me along. 

“Come on,” coaxes, and we exit the bus. As we do, Simon grabs my hand leading me a ways away from the bus stop. It feels freeing to be out of the stuffy bus and about halfway down the block he stops and looks at me. “You ok now?” He asks. 

“Kinda,” I shrug, looking down at my feet. “Better to be out of there. I just don’t get how it doesn’t matter to you.”

Simon shrugs and starts to lead me again. We make our way down the street for a while, hand in hand but not speaking. After another block he finally breaks the tension, “I just don’t see any point in having your day ruined over nothing. You’re never going to see that person again, they have no influence over your life. It doesn’t matter.”

I lower my head again and my feet start to drag a bit. I know it’s dumb but it matters to me. 

We walk for a bit in silence again. Our hands are still intertwined but I can tell Simon is frustrated. This time I try to break the tension, “How far is it?” I ask. 

“A couple more blocks I think,” Simon replies. 

We continue on in silence for a few more minutes until Simon suddenly stops, making me jolt back as my hand is pulled back by his. I look at him questioningly and he nods towards a little shop across the street. It’s a hole in the wall and the little window is littered with rainbows. Pins, flags, shirts, and a whole cacophony of pride merchandise. Above the door a small sign reads “Truly You.”

I look back at Simon who’s looking at me with that little smirk he has and instantly the tension disappears. My face erupts into a smile and tears start to form in my eyes. “Wanna go in?” He asks me. 

I reach up and Simon leans down slightly so that our lips meet. “No let’s just ignore it.” I reply sarcastically. We cross the street together and explore the store. 

I end up buying a fuzzy throw rainbow blanket and white hearts all over it. Simon doesn’t buy anything, he’s never been one for the whole pride thing. Still my mood is much better and I honestly can’t tell if he planned on coming here or simply saw it and knew it would cheer me up. 

We walk the rest of the way to to the park in much higher spirits, awing at the beauty of the city. Simon pulls me along and fake pushes me into traffic which makes me cling to him harder. We share another kiss as he spins me away from the road and deeper into his arms.  

Eventually we see the park at the end of the street, and we quicken our pace, both of us eager to find a good spot. We walk through the gates and make our way on the main path. After rounding another corner, I see a bare piece of grass with a ray of light shining through the canopies of the trees. Pulling Simon along to the small spot in the grass I ask, “Here?” 

“Perfect!” he exclaims as he pulls the backpack off grabbing the red plaid blanket and a few pastries which got a little smushed.   

We sit next to each other, cross legged looking out at the main pathway of the park. We talk for a bit and Simon tells me a lot about some of his clients and how clueless they are when it comes to weight lifting. 

“Yea I bet I wouldn’t know much better,” I laugh.

“But you at least have common sense.”

“I’d just watch you do it. I’d watch very carefully.”

“A visual learner?” he laughs. “Although would you even see the form?” He asks.

“The what?” I ask innocently feigning like I’m looking at his behind. 

We go on like that for a while, I end up talking a bit about my classes and about the different types of plants I want to be growing someday. 

“Wes you don’t need any more plants,” Simon scolds. “The apartment is full already.”

“No,” I smirk. “There’s still room. There’s always more room.” 

As we sit there talking, I start to recognize all the people walking by. Most are minding their own business, simply going about their day. I notice however that some glance in our direction longer than others. Some even look back at us.

 Simon asks me another question which pulls me back to the present. 

“What?” I ask.

“You ok? You look like you zoned out a bit.”

I sigh looking down at my lap. “I’m ok. I just, can we go?”

“What why?” Simon asks, his eyebrows raising in shock and hurt. 

“I just, I’m ready to go home.” I tell him. “Please?”

“What happened?” Simon pleads looking away “You were fine like two seconds ago.” 

“People are looking at us Simon,” I tell him. 

“So?” He asks. “I don’t get it.”

“People are looking at us,” I push, emphasizing us so he understands.. 

“Oh my god, so what if they look at us?” Simon snaps. “Why do you care so much about what other people think? They’re probably not even thinking what you think they are.”

“I know they are!” I snap back. “I don’t want to be here anymore. I want to go. I feel uncomfortable, people don’t like us Simon! People hate just so they can hate. All they need is something easy to hate and what do you know? Were it!”

“Wes,” Simon says gently, trying to calm me down. “Why does it matter so much what other people think? Why can’t you just be happy with me?”

I drop my head and bring my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around them.  “I dunno,” I mumble softly. 

Simon scoots closer to me on the blanket. “Wes,” He says again, even softer. He grabs my face in his hands and makes me look at him. “Why?” He begs. 

Tears break from my eyes and run down my cheeks. “Because,” I whimper. He looks at me, sadness and confusion in his blue eyes, waiting for me to finish. 

“What happened?” He begs as I look away again, and I can hear the desperation in his voice. 

I meet his eyes once more and finally I give in. “My family,” I start, my eyes sliding down and away. “Kicked me out.”

“What?” He whispers in horror.

I nod slowly. “When I told them I was gay,” my voice breaks and more tears stream from my eyes. “They told me to leave,” I continue, “they have no faggot son, they said.”

“Wesley,” Simon whispers as he clutches one of my hands and caresses my cheek with his other. “Wesley I’m so sorry.” 

He stares at me for a moment as I cry. Slowly he brushes a tear from my cheek. “Wesley,” he says. “Wes I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” He pauses, looking down. “Wes I don’t know what to say.” 

I know that all he wants is to help me, and I chuckle at the fact that he’s willing to be with such a mess like me. Slowly, my lips curl upward I gaze into his eyes. 

“Why are you laughing?” He asks suspicious. 

I chuckle again, a mix between a sob and a laugh. 

 “Because you’re still here.”